Don't Turn Back
by IthilielCuivienien
Summary: How far would you go, if you had lost someone you love? SPOILERS TO BOOK 7!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own the world of Harry Potter, or the Greek Mythology... I do own Catherine, however

A/N: I had the idea when I first read Book 7, but I never had the time to write it... until now. Thanks to Nimril for beta-reading and help with the Greek stuff!

**Don't Turn Back**

I stood in the front row at Severus Snape's funeral, staring strait ahead, with unseeing eyes. I had no more tears left to shed, I was completely numb.

Three weeks… three weeks since the final battle, since his death. And the pain didn't become any less… on the contrary. It only got worse. How would I ever be able to survive without him? And how will I keep from crying while reading?

After the funeral, I left early. I didn't want to be around other people, I wanted to be alone with my grief. I went home and curled up I in my favourite armchair in the library. Oh, how I missed him!

It hurt so much, it was tearing me apart. I had to do something… I just couldn't continue like this…

Suddenly my eyes fell onto a book on a small table next to a bookcase. Ovid. As I stared at the name, a vage idea began forming in my head.

Orpheus… he went into the underworld to get his dead love back… there is a grain of truth to every myth, isn't there? So… perhaps it was possible… perhaps…

I jumped up and grabbed the book, searching for the story of Orpheus and Eurydike. Mm… well, I certainly wouldn't be as stupid as him… turning back when told not to… he must have been a Hufflepuff…

The next weeks were spent reading everything on Greek mythology and magic in ancient Greece, that I could get my hands on. There were many references to the entrance to the underworld, but none of them were really specific.

I even went to Knockturn Alley, going into the darkest shops on my hunt for books.

Finally I found an old book that spoke of the entrance to Hades. It seemed to be a bit more relyable than the other sources I had found so far.

A week later, I was on my way to greece. I just had to try.

Once there, I went to Tenaron in Laconia, where one of the entrances to the underworld was supposed to be. I booked a room in a small Muggle inn and spent the days out searching.

Nothing.

On the third day, I returned late. It was already dark, really dark, since it was a new moon. When I passed the monument that was supposed to mark the place where Odysseus had entered Hades – a large round place inlaid with different coloured cobbles, that formed a nice pattern – I felt a sudden surge of magic as my feet touched the pattern.

Wait a moment… but no, it couldn't be.

The monument couldn't be the actual entrance! But why not… nobody knows when it was built…

'Nothing ventured, nothing gained', I thought and took a closer look at the pattern by the light of my wand.

Yes… there was a meaning to the pattern… the greek letters alpha and omega, tightly entwined. So, perhaps this really was the entrance. But how to open it?

Then, suddenly the clouds parted and the weak light of the new moon fell ontp (?) the circle infront of me. There! The faint outline of a three headed dog! And he held something in each of his mouths… three stones… without thinking, I reached forward, and with some difficulty managed to press these three stones at the same time.

Nothing happened. Then, the stones under me vanished abruptly and I was falling. But not far. After a few yards I landed on hard, dry earth. I slowly got up and looked around me.

I was standing in a tunnel of some sort. There as a hole above me, through which I could see faint, grey light. The tunnel streched on and I decided to follow it.

I walked for what seemed like hours, before I heard a scratching sound. Then a large three-headed dog appeared in front of me. Cerberus.

Scared, I stopped. Now, what?

The dog advanced meanacingly. I groped in my pockets for the tin whistle I had taken with me. As soon as I'd closed my hand around it, I took it out and began to play. Not very good, but apparently it did the trick. Slowly Cerberus fell asleep and I inched my way around him, still playing. Only when I could see him no more, did I stop.

I listened, but I could not hear the hell hound, so I took that as a good sign.

Slowly I made my way further along the tunnel, when it suddenly widened and I was standing on the bleak shores of a dark river. Acheron, the river of sorrow.

I was really here, I was really standing on the shores of Acheron.

Now, how to cross.

There were countless grey shapes milling around on this side of the river. Those who couldn't pay the ferryman, damned to linger here forever. I shuddered. The shapes didn't have much form to them, they were just wraiths, shadows of their former self.

There was also a queue of greyclad people, waiting to be taken across by Charon. I joined the queue. Maybe he would carry me across.

When it was my turn, Charon looked me up and down.

"You do not belong here, witch. You are of the world of the living and this is the land of the dead. I cannot carry you across."

"I thought as much, but still, it can never hurt to ask," I said with a sad smile and walked away.

There goes that option.

But I didn't come all the way here to turn back now. I was a Slytherin after all. I would find a way. But how?

I don't know how much time I stood there thinking, but then I suddenly had an idea. I was a witch, wasn't I? Why should I not try to use my magic to cross? What's the worst that could happen? I could die, but then again, my heart had already died with Severus…

I tried apparating across the river, but I wasn't too surprised that it didn't work. Then I took the tin whistle and tried to transfigure it into a boat. Nothing.

Damn! I tried casting a simple Lumos charm, but even that wouldn't work.

"You cannot use your magic here, witch!" Charon called to me.

Really? I never would have guessed… no magic, then. I would find another way.

Finally I gave up. There was only one way to cross this damned river: I had to swim across it. I remembered the legends about the river of sorrows very well. Touching its waters was not something a sane person would do. To experience all the sorrow in the world – it was enough to drive anyone insane.

'Better insane than to live without Severus!' I thought as I ran to the shore and jumped into the water.

As soon as I made contact with the water, a sorrow so immense washed over me, that I couldn't breathe. A merciless iron fist seemed to grab hold of my heart and squeeze. I tried to move, to swim, but every movement was pure agony.

'No!' I screamed in my head. 'Severus!'

Somehow I managed to reach the other shore. I'm still not sure how exactly. When I tried to pull myself ashore, someone grabbed my hand and helped me.

For a moment I just lay there, panting, waiting for the pain to receed.

When I had pulled myself together again, I looked upon my rescuer.

A beautiful woman, clad in a pale grey toga-like dress, with long silver hair. She gestured for me to follow her.

After some time we came to an ancient palace. There was a great forecourt with three stone seats. Upon these seats the three judges Minos, Rhadamanthy and Aeacus sat, waiting to judge the arriving souls and sending them to their destinations. I turned to thank my guide but she had vanished.

Proudly I approached the judges with my head held high.

"What is this?" Minos asked.

"Alive…" Rhadamanthy whispered surprised.

"You should not be here," Aeacus said. "This is the world of the dead."

"I know." I said with more confidence than I really felt. "I have come to ask you to give my beloved back to me."

The judges whispered among themselves for some time. Then they turned back to me.

"It has been many years since someone has managed to come here to ask for someone's life. It is not in our power to grant you your wish."

"BUT IT IS IN MINE." A voice suddenly rang across the courtyard.

The voice was deep and seemed to come from the bottom of a grave. There was no way anyone would ever think the speaker a human.

It was Hades himself who now came through a dark archway behind the judges. Beside him walked the woman who had helped me. Persephone? She gave me a small smile but said nothing.

"I KNOW THE MAN YOU WANT. HE IS HERE. HE HAS REFUSED TO GO ON, SAYING THAT HE WOULD RATHER WAIT HERE FOR YOU THAN TO GO TO ELYSIUM."

My heart ached at his words. He was here! Severus!  
"Can I… can I see him?" I asked with a voice that was shaking.

"NO. HE IS DEAD. YOU ARE NOT."

To come all this way only to fail now… but wait!

"Will you grant my request?" I asked. "Will you give him back to me?"  
"WHY SHOULD I DO THAT?" Hades asked. He actually seemed curious.

"Because I love him. I... I can't live without him. I would do anything! Anything!"

"HM…" The God of the Underworld seemed to be undecided.

Persephone softly put a hand on his arm. When she spoke, her voice seemed like music and it reminded me of a soft spring wind.

"She found the entrance. She managed to get past Cerberus. She swam through the river Acheron to get here."

"YOU SWAM THROUGH ACHERON?" he asked surprised. "NO MORTAL SHOULD BE ABLE TO DO THAT. NOT EVEN ORPHEUS DID."

'Well, he also turned back when he shouldn't so that doesn't surprise me,' I thought sarcastically.

Hades though for a moment.

"VERY WELL, I WILL GRANT YOUR REQUEST. ON ONE CONDITION."

"Anything!"

"YOU WANT SOMETHING THAT IS MINE, SO I WILL ASK FOR SOMETHING THAT IS YOURS IN RETURN."

I nodded slowly. Everything had a price.

"What do you want? I would give anything within my power."

"YOUR MAGIC."

I stared at him in disbelieve? My magic? But… that wasn't possible, was it? Then again, he was a god… kind of. And what good would my magic do me without Severus?

"Agreed." I said with a firm voice.

Apparently I had managed to surprise the Lord of the Underworld again.

"YOUR LOVE FOR HIM MUST BE VERY STRONG FOR YOU TO GIVE UP SOMETHING THAT HAS BEEN A PART OF YOU ALL YOUR LIFE SO READILY."

"I can live without magic. I can't live without Severus," I said quietly.

"VERY WELL. I GRANT YOUR REQUEST." Hades said quietly. "YOU SHOULD START ON YOUR JOURNEY BACK NOW. NEED I TELL YOU WHAT WILL HAPPEN IF YOU TURN BACK?"  
I laughed shakily. I still couldn't believe that I had actually succeeded.

"No. I will not turn back. Not for anything. I thank you, my lord."

He just nodded and walked back into his palace. Persephone spared me a short smile before she, too, left.

Now I just had to get back.

I squared my shoulders and set my gaze firmly at the distant horizon where the river Acheron should be. Unlike the arrogant greek singer, I would not turn back. Under no circumstances.

I walked for what seemed like an eternity through the grey desert of Hades. Voices were calling out to me from the surrounding mists. Some I could understand, others not. Some were taunting me, trying to distract me, others were warning me and still others cried out to me to help them. I ignored all of them.

There were dark shapes in the mist, but I kept my eyes straight ahead. There, in the far distance I could see the river!

Now another voiced was heard: Severus.

"_Catherine! Help me! I can't follow you! Catherine! Please! __Do not leave me!"_

Tears were running down my face as I ran towards the river, never looking back.

'It's not real. It's not real.' I repeated I my head. It couldn't be real. Nothing here was. I had to get back. I mustn't turn around!

It tore me apart to ignore Severus' pleas, but somehow I managed to continue to Acheron.

Finally, I had reached the river! I wanted to weep with relief.

This time, I didn't have to swim. Charon himself offered to carry me across, which I gladly accepted.

During the crossing, the voices were silent. But as soon as my foot touched the other side, they started again.

"_Catherine! Don't leave me here!"_

I bit back a sob as I stumbled along the corridor that would lead me to Cerberus and the way out. This time Severus' voice had sounded further away, as if he were still on the other side…

'No! Don't think about that! It is not real!'

"How pathetic. To come all this way, just to fail in the end. Filthy mudblood."

I froze. I knew this voice. Voldemort.

'No, no, he's dead. It's not real, not real…'

I walked onward, refusing to look back. No matter what the voices were saying it wasn't real!

There! Cerberus! Now that I wasn't trying to sneak past him, he actually seemed like a nice dog.

'Hagrid would have liked him,' I thought with a touch of hysteria.

The hellhound didn't stop me from passing, which was a good thing, because I wouldn't have been capable of facing him if he had.

I was clutching my head, mumbling over and over again the words 'It's not real!' and stumbling along as if I were drunk.

There! Light! This must be the way out!

With a final muster of strength, I flung myself at the light, landing on the ground next to the monument.

I was back in the world of the living. I had done it.

I had been to hell and back. And I had NOT TURNED AROUND.

"Catherine?"

Suddenly he was beside me, gathering me in his his strong arms. With a content sigh, I leaned into him, whispering his name before I lost consciousness.

"Severus."


	2. Chapter 2

When I awoke it was dawn. I was still outside. And I was lying in someone's arms.

At first I didn't know where I was, then the memories came rushing back.

"Severus!" I screamed and wanted to jump up, but the arms holding me tightened around me.

"Sh, it's alright, I'm here."

"Severus…" I slowl turned around and there he was.

For a moment I couldn't move, I was drowning in his eyes, then I threw my arms around him and clung to him for dear life.

I didn't realise I was crying until I pulled away again.

"Catherine…" He gently wiped my tears away and kissed me.

"I knew you wouldn't turn around," he whispered and pulled me close against him. "But it broke my heart to see you assailed by those voices…"

"It's ok now, it doesn't matter now, you are here, that is the only thing that really matters…"

He buried his face I my hair.

"I was there the whole time, you know. You just couldn't see me, because I was dead and you weren't… it hurt so much to see you there and not be able to got to you, to talk to you, to comfort you…"

I held him even tighter.

"It doesn't matter now… it was worth it… I would have anything to get you back!"

"I am honoured that you even gave up your magic for me," he said softly.

"Of course! What good would all the magic in the world be, when you couldn't be at my side?"

We kissed again and then I heard a strange noise, like a small whirlwind.

I looked up and saw a young man hovering a foot above the ground. There were actual little wings attached to his feet and he wore a dark green Chlamys, a hat and a staff decorated with snakes.

Hermes Psychopompos.

Without thinking, I moved in front of Severus, who had stiffened as soon as he had laid eyes on the 'conductor of the soul'.

"You can't take him back!" I challenged the god.

He actually had the audacity to laugh at that.

"**Do not fear, little witch. I did not come to take him back. I have been sent to bring you something.**"

"Bring me something?" I didn't know what to make of that.

"**Yes.**"

He opened his hand and there was a softly green-glowing sphere hovering above it.

"**A gift from Hades. You freely gave it, as a token of your love. He gives it back.**"

"My magic?" I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

I had given my magic up, how could that be?

Hermes waved his hand and the sphere hovered over to me, vanishing as it touched my chest, right where my heart was.

"**The God of the Underworld has no need of it. He only wanted a proof of your feelings. After all, he normally doesn't allow people tp leave his realm.**"

With a nod he left us.

I still couldn't belive it. I had my magic back? And Severus would stay?

He startled me with a kiss and pulled me to him again.

"I am glad for you, but it wouldn't have mattered. I love you, magic or no magic."

The end.


End file.
